We're all mad here...

i don't post very often, i know, but this was too funny not to share.

http://www.snopes.com/photos/odd/gnome.asp

there is a garden gnome terrorizing innocent Argentinians. like, pointy hat and all. people are being hospitalized for "excessive gnome fright."

you ain't gonna believe this...

but i'm posting.

hi!

ok, i'll make this brief.

still alive.
still married.
hoping like hell for a new job.
going to see TOOL.

envy me, bitches.

( My Interests Collage! )

ok. i know this is so been done a thousand times... but in the name of all that is holy, this is one of the craziest things i've ever seen. and oh my god, this is SO not safe for work... some of the things that popped up i just don't understand. why was the first things that appeared for the interest "movies" all anal???

ok, i just switched to the ad thingy, and so far it hasn't irritated me too much. i redid my journal style. not sure if i like it. oh well.

i got called a lazy retarded ape at work today. i'm finding a new job.

well. i know i don't update very often, which really is the fault of my lack of internet access. we're actually working on that, slowly but surely.

i've got a kitty. his name is chubbs, he's a 10 wk old tuxedo, and is sweet beyond belief. every morning he gets up and wakes me up, nosey kisses me, and then he gets up to do whatever it is he does when he gets up. i'll take a picture of him and post it.

i've developed a hobby of writing haiku. here's an example.

no, lady, please no!
short shorts are not for you, ma'am!
please put on some pants!

our apartment flooded. its better now. stupid air conditioner.

jewish wine is the bomb.

me and dear djfusiondevice spend most of our free time playing games on our little home network. mostly star trek elite force capture the flag. its a great co-stress reliever, and lots of fun.

we've got great new neighbors (hi misstress_tara!!! and d&d, of course.) that's lots of fun. soon we'll take over the whole building!!! whah!

so, okie dokie. i guess that's about it. yay, update! maybe i'll do it again in the next month!

ok. if you haven't read lenavixen's post about billy squier, i direct you to a link you feel compelled to click. you will then feel compelled to push the "play" button. you will then watch, sit back, and wonder why the eighties ever happened.

the power of billy squier compels you!

i love being lenavixen's head model. check out what she just did to my head.

(beware - blury picture)
( meet my new friend tigerlily )

clean bill of health for me!!! yay!

the trip was crazy. our flight to atlanta was delayed because of storms, and we didn't get off the ground here until our connection in ATL was gone already, we scramble to make out new connection, we tackle public transportation and get to our hotel at 11:30 at night, and we hadn't eaten all day. pizza hut was closed then. next day i have my MRI, that was quick, we went shopping, got drenched walking back to the hotel, stayed in. went to my doctor's appt friday morning, went to the smithsonian natural history museum (they have a western civilization exibit with mummies!!!), got to the airport really really early and had a non-eventful flight back. glad to be home, though. good to have my own car again, but god, do my calves feel HUGE.

yay for mother's day. it was crazy at work today, you'd be surprised how many people take their mother's to barnhill's.

yay stuff.

me and hubby-dear djfusiondevice leave tomorrow for washington dc. its time for my check up again. hopefully we'll have time for a little sightseeing. we'll be back friday night.

hey krispy_tin! i'll be flying relatively over your head! (i'll try to call you saturday, or monday afternoon. k?)

my sister, the super-artsy lenavixen, is the artificial hair master. give her a substance and she can make hair with it. here's the proof.

( plastic hair! )

i had a marga. her name was rita. she makes me happy. ole.

you get 'em, mr. asian cop. you go get 'em.

wow. life just gets more and more surreal.

so, in an attempt to get out of the house and do something social (which it seems is a huge feat for me lately, but i'm improving), i went to applebee's in columbus with my friend joann from work for a mixed drink or two and some lively conversation, with the secondary benefit of killing some time until i had to pick josh up from work at midnight. so we sit at the bar, and i treat myself to a mucho bahama mama. as we wait for our drinks, these two horribly drunk black guys (yes, the fact that they were black is important; read on) start slurring at us, offering to buy our drinks. then they ask if we are married, and yes, we both are. they began to show signs of regret at offering to buy drinks before finding out if we were available, and start discussing this with each other... right there next to us. so we tell them that hey, its no big deal, we can cover ourselves, but they need to get their questions in the right order. no, no, they said they would buy our drinks, and buy our drinks they will... and begin pursuing conversation. namely things like "your husband isn't going to show up, is he?" "are you really married?" "you come here often?" then, my friends, the straw that broke the camel's back. he one sitting nearest to me begins the following exchange.

drunk guy: "mmmmmmmm...." *licks his lips and stares at my hip/ass*
me: *snaps fingers in his line of sight* "excuse me, but if you want to talk, fine, but you need to be looking in my face, cuz nothing below that has anything to do with you"
dg: "why don't you go to the bathroom?"
me: "... um, i really don't need to go..."
dg: "i just want to see what you got."
me: "what i got is none of your damn business, and you need to stop disrespecting me like that"
dg: "i ain't disrespectin, girl, but i gotta know - how did you get built like that? damn!"
me: "well, that was easy. i gained 40 pounds. fast food and ice cream do that."
dg: "babe, you see, to a white person, you might be fat. but to me... you're beautiful."
me: *blink blink*

i thought all men knew that you NEVER use the f-word to a female, unless you know you have that privilage. whoever thaught him how to run game needs to be shot. soon the two drunkards got distracted by two girls with a bigger butt than i and me and joann settled our tab and ran.

so. this is life, eh? hrm. had me fooled. thought it was crap.

as some of you may know, my baby dear has a persistant pain in his tummy. do they really know what it is yet? no... as a matter of fact it seems there's nothing wrong. everything looks great. um, yay meds??? *confusion ensues*

i owe $800 in taxes. screw allocated tips and the extra $4000 i'm being taxed on.

i have a crap job that doesn't pay doodie.

i have zero energy and motivation to do anything. i don't want to go anywhere or do anything, i just want to sit like a bump on my couch, and sleep.

i'm having positively insane mood swings lately, and am feeling increasingly unstable.

anything good going on? well, yes, as a matter of fact. through all of this, josh has been there for me unwaveringly, despite him being sick. i love him so much.

so, as a fair warning to those of you whom i may call and vent at; well, you've been warned.

baby sister is great. she has my chin. poor thing.

i am minus two captive bead rings. migration is a very bad thing.

i must be the happiest married woman in the world. :D

me and josh are trying to be vegetarian. he more so than i...

dynasty warriors is lots of fun. woot woot.

it seems i only have things to post about when i have no access to internet. hrm. that's a little irritating.

pepper is very very fond of millet seed, she'll devour an entire spray in a day. so she's getting rationed.

yeah. ny baby has a toothache, so i'm off to take him some medicine.

i have a new baby sister. yay. i've been so tempted to give my dad one of those safe sex pamphlets from the health dept, but no... in the end i'd just rather not go there. although it would be funny...

she's having some complications. i'm going to see her in the hospital in a little while, see how she's doing. they're sure she'll be fine. now i have a baby to dote upon and spoil, and then give her cranky butt up to my dad. i see years of revenge coming into place...

i'm sinus icky. :(

i'm also experiencing explosive brain farts, so i'll have to think of another update later.

oh hey, guess what midnightfae? animal planet is doing "animal rescue phoenix", or some name very close. do something crazy and get on tv!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

i'm a calander girl!!!!!

yay, did christmas shopping, most everything i got was for josh, cuz i kept finding things for him... oooops. he'll be thrilled.

i like the breakfast club. want to see.

what are the odds that wal-mart is sold out of season one of dark shadows??? does anyone even remember dark shadows? its so perfect for my mom... she used to race from class in college to watch it. its so terrible, i can hardly think of a show that was worse... that's why its so funny. bad acting, worse effects... *sigh*

i have the muppet show!!! RARRRRRR!!!!!! *its time to meet the muppets on the muppet show tonight!!!*

i love my bird... but oh my does she ever love to sing. particularly when we're doing something other than paying attention to her... like watching tv, playing dynasty warriors, reading, eating, talking, sleeping--although when we cover her cage at night its not a problem, she gets quiet then. but she's so cute... if we can get her out of her cage (which she's picky about) she'll perch on your finger, sit on your shoulder, its adorable.

yay stuff.

i thikn i had something else to say, but it's gone, man.

i have a pepper. he/she is a cockatiel (sp?). its grey with a yellow face and orange cheeks, with white wing markings. she sings and headbangs to techno. it thinks chicken is yummy (when licked off the fingers). its not ok with hands very much yet, but she has no problem with faces. its not cage-bound at all, just a little skittish right now. we'll know if it's a boy or a girl when the tail feathers come in (its a young-un)

i love my djfusiondevice so much, its the bestest christmas present ever. other than being proposed to, of course.

the techno thing is the cutest thing ever. i'll get pictures.